I just saw a quote on one of my Yahoo Groups that I love! It said, I do many things well, none of which generate income. I’ve altered mine a bit, but the sentiment is the same…

A friend shared this with me today, and even though I’ve seen it before, it brought a smile. Thought you could use one, too.

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in 20 ways to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results.

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Shared…

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last:

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually mess your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my second tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that stuff in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again. After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station—on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. That made his day! I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb—after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Semper Fi,
Alex

If you’re into crafting, and I’d say, especially if you’re an artist, you’ve probably heard of Artist Trading Cards—or ATCs as they’re commonly called. I only recently came upon this craft outlet since I joined Swap-Bot. But I already love it! Keep in mind, I’m not an artist, I’m a crafter, scrapbooker and cardmaker. These are not fancy, artistic designs. But they’re mine and I like ‘em. Hope you do, too!

Do you create ATCs? Leave a link to your post below and let us see your work! (Direct link to ATCs ONLY. All others will be deleted. Thanks!)

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Our photos are a record of our life stories… Don’t let yours get ruined or forgotten crammed in a drawer or stuck in a magnetic album! Acids, lignin and other chemicals used in old papers, magnetic photo albums, tape, etc. are RUINING your precious memories! Let me help you creatively preserve them NOW and keep your photos safe for generations to come!

I’m an experienced crafter, scrapbooker and card maker and LOVE to play with paper! I have a TON of supplies and would love to help you preserve your precious photos and memories! I can help you sort your photos, create decorative pages to showcase them, and help ensure your memories last LONGER than a lifetime! Think of all those baby pictures, wedding shots, reunion photos, etc. that you know are wasting away in a junk drawer. Or what about the photos of your loved ones who have passed away? Having a beautiful, decorative scrapbook of photos and mementos keeps those memories alive forever!

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*Vintager = keeper of the vintage. (And I don’t mean wine!)